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Dark Tower Returns to Limbo

Written by Aaron Mitchell | Tuesday, 28 August 2012 00:07

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Ron Howard’s ambitious plan to create three Dark Tower movies with two television series bridging the plots between each film was a dream come true for fans. Unfortunately it’s turning out to be a slightly too ambitious dream for studios. Warner Brothers, speculated as the most likely studio to take on a project of this scope, have passed on it. While the project isn’t officially dead, making a successful pitch to any other studio is going to be a stretch. It's not entirely unexpected, anyone familiar with the Dark Tower series knows it's a uniquely complex, bizarre and dense series to adapt. It's not the sort of text you can skim of the top, drop some peripheral stuff and keep the core identity of the text, thinks would unravel fast and you'd end up with a huge mess of a half assed film. The film/TV series hybrid seemd like the only way to go, and that proposal also seems to be a no go. But speaking to the fans, do we really want to see an actor trying to fill the boots of Roland Deschain? Could we bare it? Would we every be satisfied with the casting decisions? Probably not.

Still, I had a dream, like a literal dream, that Marvel studios might pick up the project with all their spare cash after their mega success at the box office as a side project alongside their super hero films. Not a foolish hope as Marvel publishes a number of comic adaptations and expansions of the Dark Tower universe. But it was only a dream, and dreams in the shadow of the Dark Tower are evil dreams indeed...

 
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Carnahan Prepares to Destroy The Dark Knight with Nemesis

Written by Aaron Mitchell | Monday, 27 August 2012 23:54

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If you’re anything like me, and if you’re reading this you likely are, you walked out of Dark Knight Rises with wildly conflicting emotions. Elation at seeing one of the best Batman films, not to mention epic trilogies, ever to appear on screen, and a crushing depression at the knowledge this was Christoper Nolan’s last Batman film in the director’s chair. What are we to do? Wait for the inevitable DC reboot in two years or cross fingers a JLA movie won’t be as awful as we imagine it would be?

I was pleasantly surprised upon returning home from my second viewing of Dark Knight Rises to learn Joe Carnhan had confirmed he’s back working on the adaptation of Mark Millar’s anti Batman comic Nemesis. This I could be excited about, let me tell you why you should be excited too.

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Dreams Can Come True: Hover Bikes

Written by Aaron Mitchell | Monday, 27 August 2012 23:48

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How are close are we to zipping through the trees of Endor on speeder bikes Return of the Jedi style? Pretty mother flipping close people. I was impressed and slightly terrified a year ago when I read about Australian amateur inventor and engineer Chris Malloy and his backyard hover bike, who claims his bike can do well over 100km an hour and cruise up to 10,000 feet (see more here http://www.hover-bike.com). But Malloy’s prototype has serious competition in the form of the Aerofox.

The draw of the American Aerofox are two knee level pars that intuitively control the pitch and yaw of the bike based on the pilots leaning keeping the hover bike stable. Unfortunately the company don’t have the creation and commercial sale of this vehicle lined up. They see it more as a prototype for the development of boring unmanned drones to airlift equipment.

Laaaame.

I want something for zipping over terrain. Where I live there are few roads and plenty of beautiful but difficult to access locations. We actually have an almost impassable offroad trail called The Jump where dozens of people literally wreck their four wheel drives trying to get out the isolated beaches. A vehicle like this would be ideal in regional and rural areas for getting around. Fingers crossed Chris Malloy can get the corporate backing to get a commercial version of his hover bike available soon.

 
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The Geek Zodiac

Written by Aaron Mitchell | Monday, 27 August 2012 23:45

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Most Zodiacs have me pop up as a snake or a water carrier (which is actually an air symbol, because astrology is completely retarded in every sense). This proposed geek zodiac system is something I could get behind. Click to make biggerer.

Also, just to be an annoying knob, did you know every single English speaking paper in the world has a horoscope section, but less than half have even a single column on science? Our world makes my brain hurt some times.

 
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Superman and Wonderwoman are an Item, Pass it On

Written by Aaron Mitchell | Monday, 27 August 2012 23:39

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So almost a year ago now DC rebooted their whole universe. For some characters the changes were pretty minimal, such as Batman, but for DC’s other major character Superman the universe was very changed with Grant Morrison’s take pulling the character back to basics. This meant that a lot of his recent comic history, marrying Lois Lane, getting killed by Doomsday and killing off the Clark Kent alter ego, all got chucked out. Since then we’ve watched Superman slowly pick up familiar story elements, discovering he’s an alien, becoming a target of Lex Luthor, getting a job at the Daily Bugle and so on. One thing he’s not done though, is hook up with Lois Lane.

Well don’t hold your breath on that one.

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Uncharted Loses Director, Gains Script Doctors, Will Likely Die Soon

Written by Aaron Mitchell | Monday, 27 August 2012 23:37

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Neil Burger, director of Limitless (which I saw the other day and was quite good, you should see it, maybe I missed the moral at some point but I’d totally take one of those pills) has dropped out of Uncharted and the studio has brought it scripting duo Marianne and Cormac Wibberley for script rewrites. The duo are behind such cherished classics as Charlies Angels Full Throttle, Bad Boys 2 and both National Treasure films.

Yes, the Uncharted film is going to make Tomb Raider look like the mother flipping Dark Knight. At this point the best we should hope for is that an Uncharted movie never, ever gets made.

 
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Xcom Trailer Looks Joygasmic

Written by Aaron Mitchell | Monday, 27 August 2012 23:29

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Xcom the original is a game I still regularly gush over at the very memory. Xcom the new game (Firaxis, not the 2K one which thankfully seems to have quietly slipped out of the party to stand on the balconey railing for a few moments, tears frosting on its cheeks from the cold winter wind, then silently throwing itself into the darkness, meanwhile the party continues with gusto behind the French doors, oblivious to the absent guest) looks like it may be everything I could ask for in a modern remake.

Fingers crossed it rocks on a turn based random scenario situation.

 
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